It’s easy to be listless in life; I certainly struggle regularly with sticking to the things I know I should be doing. Some people look at my life and think I must be super focused and dialed in all the time, what with running several podcasts, helping lead a nonprofit, doing trainings for aid workers, and traveling. But the reality is I’m pretty boring on the average day. I struggle immensely actually doing the work most days. I put things off; I get distracted (it seems like) every minute or so. There’s a myriad of books, courses, and videos that will try to teach you the best system for optimal productivity, efficiency, and effectiveness. But having spent a number of years in that world, read the books, and watched the tutorials, the majority of all that advice can be broken down into a basic framework. From there, you can apply, modify, or toss out whatever you like. But this foundational concept is the key in many ways.
Think of life as a sailing ship. You are the captain, and you’ve been given this ship to use. If you are sailing a ship, there’s three things you must have to do so properly. Goal (a destination) → Plan (a map to guide you) → System (the daily work keeping the ship moving properly).
This way of thinking about my goals was immensely liberating. It’s very easy to focus on, say, the system (i.e. my habits and the daily work) without having first figured out the destination. Where am I trying to go? And once I have that figured out, what map am I using to guide me? Only after I have answered those questions can I examine the systems (daily habits and work). This is one of the foundational reasons that habits don’t stick well, at least for me. I have a grand idea of a new habit I want to do, but if I don’t tie that back to how it helps me get to a certain destination, it doesn’t stick well.
The map is another important piece. Take some time to map out how you will get from where you currently are, to where you want to end up. I know so many people that have a wonderful goal in mind (the destination), and immediately begin work on the system (immediate daily action). But they miss the map; they never sit down and spend a solid chunk of focused time planning how they will get there. They start heading towards the destination without first making sure they have a good map to guide them. The map can take many forms. Sometimes it’s asking advice from mentors. Sometimes it’s big picture research to figure out the best approach. Sometimes it’s figuring out the optimal approach to the problem.
But all of this (finding the destination and figuring out the map) is meaningless if you don’t actually take action (the system). You have to start sailing the ship on the high seas. And this is the part that is the most scary. Up to this point, it’s been about settings goals and mapping out the situation. But running the sailing ship is hard work. The seas are often stormy. Sometimes it’s not clear what the best immediate course of action is.
And so there’s another group of people I see regularly get tripped up on this step. They are the dreamers. They have wonderful goals. They have the latest and most detailed maps. Their ship is in perfect order, the best cartographers hired, the best sailors onboard, the most ambitious destination chosen.
But they remain in port. Action is too dangerous, too full of unknowns. So they wait in the harbor, talking about their grand dreams.
But they never pull up anchor and set out to sea.
And this, of all failures people make with setting sail on this ship they’ve been given command of (their life), this last one is the most visceral and sad. We’ve all seen it: that friend always talking about how they’re going to make it big, how they have their greatest idea yet, how they’ll get rich. But they never leave the safety of the harbor. It’s much, much easier and safer to stay in port, focusing on maps and keeping the ship’s deck scrubbed clean.
This is the tragedy of a life not fully lived.
Determine your destination. Get your map. Pull up anchor, and set sail.
Stay curious, Reagan